College of Cardinals

yearly farm visit

Elle — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 04:27:35 +0000

Folks, it’s time for the yearly vacation review. This year’s vacation was much shorter than last and involved real baseball instead of that old cousin, cricket. Long story short, the holiday weekend featured wineries and AAA Redbirds, a fantastic weekend for just about any Cardinals fan of legal drinking age.

Being an away game in Omaha, there were some interesting aspects to the game.

Driving past the stadium, everyone was wearing royal blue. WTF? No Sea of Red? Is this going to be like the Bloods going into Crips territory?
Omaha people were pretty nice, one fan even said “You Cardinals fans have a good night, ya hear?” on the way out from the game. We took some razzing from the beer vendor, but we dished it right back out. In retrospect, seven against one probably wasn’t too fair, but hey. He started it.
Speaking of beer, the only one on tap was Miller. Again, WTF? Coors and Bud Light were available in super cans, but only from the roaming beer vendor and one stand that I spotted.
Our party of six was the only group identifying themselves as Redbird-affiliated. Only one other Cardinals fan was spotted (and summarily joined our group, taking advantage of the open seats in front of us); any other people wearing red appeared to be moms who accidentally wore the opposition’s color.
Rooting against the Omaha Royals was natural, as they were wearing blue.
We sat six rows behind the Redbirds’ dugout. I can pretty much guarantee you I’ll never get to do that at Busch Stadium. And if I do, you’ll have to pry my cold, dead body out of the seat at the end of the game.
We estimated the attendance to be 4,000-4,500. Rosenblatt was like a library compared to Busch. I could have made phone calls and heard every word instead of using “HEY I’M AT THE GAME YOU KNOW I CAN’T HEAR YOU, I’LL TALK TO YOU LATER”. It also turns out that when you yell praise and insults, everybody hears every word that you say.
It also turns out that when a player argues with an umpire, you can also hear every word they say. Sadly, no magic words were uttered and someday I hope to witness them in action (for a very good reason, of course), but our party strained our ears and watched gleefully as a Royal argued in vain and tried again later on.
We stood up and cheered loudly for the baby birds-on-bat at the end of the bottom of each inning. Memphis players walked back to the dugout with their heads down, avoiding eye contact, as if to say “Dear God, I swear I don’t know these people.” It wasn’t even that bad of a game, at least not in the beginning. I think they aren’t used to having legitimate fans at away games.
Upon a Memphis pitcher issuing a walk: *haunting music* “Boo… Walks will haunt you” positioned next to a ghost on the jumbotron. Classic. Sad to say, I saw that one a few too many times.
Ok, who knows the book Pajama Time? Jamma jamma jamma jamma jamma jamma jamma jamma jamma jamma jamma jamma PJ!! P.J. Walters started the game and went six, allowing four runs (two earned) with four or five strikeouts, only to have a Flores blow the game. Truly, it was just like a major league game.
Some old guy in front of me tried to convince me that Yasuhiko Yabuta is Korean. I don’t think you need to look up his profile or a press release to know he’s Japanese. Obviously, he is not familiar with me or many other 24 year old girlies who know their baseball.
No appearances by Joe Mather, Colby Rasmus, Anthony Reyes, Matt Clement, or Brad Thompson. We did get to see plenty of Uncle Rico [Washington] and Nick Stavinoha. Is it bad that I kind of wish Mulder and Izzy were hanging out in AAA for another couple weeks?

Good times were had by all, minus the Redbirds loss, but the fireworks were really cool and the tickets were dirt cheap. I plan a return visit if possible.

unfortunately, that’s the jimmy we know

Elle — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 21:53:00 +0000

It breaks my cold, black heart to see Jimmy E do the same things for the Cubs that made him hated by the same people while wearing the birds on bat. Two of three RBIs for the Cubbies today, on a sac fly and solo home run. Damn Cubs.

six hundred

Elle — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 00:00:17 +0000

I’m not sure what to say about this, but I feel like it’s appropriate to mark Grif’s 600th. He’s been one of the more respectable guys in baseball, even when he does fling jocks at fans. Congratulations, Ken, and wishes for many more homers against the Cubs and not the Cardinals.

awkward turtle time

Elle — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 02:24:09 +0000

Look, I don’t want to call an end to the season, but I have to point out that our pitching staff that looked so promising is turning into an awkward turtle. For the non-college aged out there, the awkward turtle is a hand motion that symbolizes a turtle lying on its back and wriggling its legs about in an effort to right itself. How often does the turtle succeed? Not often; assistance from a higher being is often required. [Potentially offensive blonde joke of the day: What's the similarity between a blonde and a turtle? Once they're on their back, they're screwed!]

So, what’s making our pitchers into an awkward turtle? Starting from the beginning…

Mark Mulder: What hasn’t been said already could maybe fill a thimble. The guy is trying to find an arm angle that works for him so that he can give pitching in the big leagues another try. This isn’t so much ‘awkward turtle’ as ‘bloated armadillo’, but tradition dictates that it goes on the list.

Chris Carpenter: I have a feeling we’ll see him before the season ends even if we aren’t depending on him for a playoff push. If nothing else, we’ll want to see how he pitches to big league hitters so that we know what he has to improve upon for the next spring training. However, having your team’s ace/Cy Young winner on the DL for a couple years is kind of a crippling blow to the team.

Matt Clement: Uh… yeah. “Diminished shoulder strength” isn’t exactly on the list of terms you’d like to hear used to describe your team’s projected number two starter who is recovering from throwing shoulder surgery.

Jason Isringhausen: The coaches seem to think he’s coming back whenever he feels like it. I’m not so sure how that’s going to work out. We all knew he was out for his head and not his hand, but I’d like to see him come back for seven saves. However, it’s hard for a closer to come back from a serious blow to confidence. It took Brad Lidge what, a year to allay concerns about his ability? I don’t think Izzy has the luxury of time.

Joel Piniero: Strained groin, heh heh. This athlete injury makes me chuckle just less than “anal fissure” and “twisted testicle”. Anyway, if he can stay away from Hrabosky’s he might heal up, but he’s got to start lasting more than five innings or we’ll be adding more bullpen arms to the list of casualties.

Todd Wellemeyer: The Colonel, NL Pitcher of the Month for May. Not bad for someone kicked off the Royals. Currently experiencing swelling in his right elbow. Choose your own obscenity. This vaguely reminds me of the beginning of the 2007 season when Chris Carpenter experienced swelling in his right elbow and might have his next start delayed or miss his next start.

Adam Wainwright: Respectable fill-in ace making a case for himself as legitimate ace. Felt a pop in his middle finger while throwing to Astro Darin Erstad and left the game with a 2-2 count. The official word is that he has a strain, but it sounds a little more like torn connective tissue to me. Ouch. Not good for a pitcher. Even worse for the pitching staff, eh?

So if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take my Effexor and try to get through this episode of As the Pitching Falls Apart with the rest of y’all.

still makes me sick

Elle — Sat, 24 May 2008 04:49:11 +0000

It still makes me sick to see Jimmy in a Cubs uniform. It just doesn’t look right. You know how your mom looks during your lifetime? That’s kind of like Jimmy in a Cardinals uniform. It’s what you know, and you’ve known it for so long that it’s normal. But then you discover pictures of her in high school/college and although you see the resemblance, it’s way different. Compare to JEd in Angels threads. But then yo’ momma goes and gets a hell of a lot of work done (cheaply, likely in Mexico) and you’re like WTF? This is not right.

That’s pretty much how I feel about seeing Edmonds in Cubbie pinstripes: WTF? This is not right.

Chicago seems dissatisfied with him thus far; he may have gotten applauded in his first PA, but apparently he was booed by the end of the game. As of now, he’s 2 for 15, which is worse than what the team was getting from Pie (Jesu); not only that, but development of Pie would be more beneficial to the team in the long-term than riding a declining veteran as he fades into the sunset. This would be similar to the conversations that our fans have held over the past season or two — go with the kids who will improve and be available long-term instead of relying on the vets who are falling apart and likely to be available only a short time more.

How long will Jimmy continue to be a baby bear? Who knows. Piniella urged him to start hitting, or else, (and wasn’t so optimistic about when the hits will come) so between that and the fact that he is but a shell of what he used to be, I doubt he would be with the team past June.

When he is done with the Cubs, then what? Again, who knows. Er, Bo Knows. Anyway, I wouldn’t mind if the Cardinals signed him. Not to actually pay him to play and send a kid to the bus leagues, mind you, but sign him for a day so he can sign his retirement papers with us. He may not think his time is done and I’m sure it’s hard for a player to accept that the time for doing what you love has passed, but frankly, his time is done. His health doesn’t allow for him to produce like he used to and production is far exceeded by the young’uns; it’s time for him to move on. He can go hang out with Matty Mo and swap DK stories over drinks. Take up knitting (just for the record, I teach, Jim, in case you’re interested comma comma comma). Play chess. Spend time with your kids. Whatever.

I wish he could have played his last game ever while wearing the birds on bat, but the probability of that seems just about next to the chances of a snowball in hell. The next best thing is to ceremonially sign him and retire. Besides, it would be a good move for business. Ain’t no way in hell St. Louis fans will go to the restaurant of a man who retired as a Cub.

hey now, you’re an all-star

Elle — Sat, 24 May 2008 02:48:13 +0000

The All-Star Break is coming! It will be here before Mulder and Clement… er… I mean.. before you know it. Yeah. As you may be aware, the rosters are mostly fan-selected and tend to be packed with players from densely populated, prominent areas [blatantly favored by ESPN/FOX] like New York and Boston. Seeing as the ASG will be played in Yankee Stadium, I’m certain this year will be no different; I propose that we counteract these fans and get some of our boys on the roster.

I’m not saying the Cardinals need to make up the starting nine; Cesar Izturis has no business being an All-Star selection unless all other shortstops in the league are mysteriously abducted by aliens. However, I think Yadi has always been overlooked for catcher voting not only for the All-Star team but also for Gold Gloves; as far as I’m concerned, this needs to be rectified. Then there’s this other kid on the team who kind of made a big splash on his first and second major league debuts… I think an All-Star selection would be fitting for him.

Rickrolling the Mets as retribution for ballot box stuffing (at least in my mind) went lovely except for the fact that they didn’t continue the song all year, so we’ll have to settle for stuffing the All-Star ballot box to show the northeasterners who’s boss. You can go down to the stadium to snatch all of their ballots and literally stuff the ballot box, but that 1) kills trees and 2) requires a lot of effort. If you’re a mouse-clicking voter, you can legally vote 25 times per email address. You can vote every day if you are so behooved. You can also check out this handy site if you need another email address.

You do whatever, but part of my Yadi-Ankiel voting campaign is also to vote for guys who are worthy but unlikely to make the team. So I wouldn’t vote for Jose Vidro or David Ortiz as AL DH, but Garret Anderson might get some of my 25 votes. Of course, I’ll still vote for Ickle Davey Eckstein for AL SS.

no title needed

Elle — Sun, 18 May 2008 20:46:56 +0000

What a rare treasure.

He may be sharp as usual, but I can tell from his voice his health is fading (he’s pushing 90, wtf do you expect?) and how sad the day will be when Stan is no longer with us. In the meantime, we’ll honor him and appreciate him for as long as he’s with us… and then some.

Happy Stan Musial Day, everybody.

free hugs

Elle — Sun, 18 May 2008 05:22:35 +0000

Izzy has my care & concern.

If I saw him in the grocery store, I think I’d have to hug him (as opposed to say, kicking him in the shins). He sounds extremely desperate, unique to any other time I have ever heard him speak about his performance or condition. I’m glad that Paletta found enough evidence to disable him for a few days and get him off the roster.

Otherwise, the options as I see them are 1) continue as-is: bad idea for obvious reasons or 2) DFA: ill-advised, for I’m sure another team would claim him. Worse closers than Jason Isringhausen not only exist but are paid handsomely. As poorly as he has been pitching lately, I feel like you don’t just give up on a guy nor do you send a guy to the gallows on a regular basis when he has consistently put out everything he has to offer and resultingly is the franchise save leader (eight away from 300 saves).

If Izzy wasn’t able to obtain a disability diagnosis, I would have been loudly screaming for a psychologist visit. Of course, it probably would have been like screaming in an anechoic chamber [aside, I think Liam would be the only one who wouldn't need to google that term], but that’s never stopped any of us from complaining about medical practices. [See: Mark Mulder's shoulder, Carpenter's elbow.] Zach Greinke of the Royals was placed on the DL officially for “personal reasons” a couple spring trainings ago; later, it came out that he had left spring training because of an anxiety disorder (social, to be specific). I suspect Rick Ankiel would have had a legitimate claim for similar treatment post-2000 postseason. And that is all we will speak of that even though we no longer have to weep at his downfall, for he is reborn as a damn fine centerfielder [even if he regrettably no longer wears the high socks].

That said, there’s nothing in the world wrong with having a psychological disorder… as long as you get treatment. Psychological issues carry such a stigma in our culture thanks to crazy ladies who drown their kids, pathological men who kill for sport, and suicidal students who tote guns to campus. Unfortunately “Lady Keeps Shit Together, Thanks Pharmaceutical Industry” never makes the six o’ clock news. The worst is generally suspected in someone who has a psych disorder, but with therapy and possibly medication, the impact of psych disorders can be reduced to a very manageable, normal to near-normal level.

I won’t lie, I’ve had my own trouble with psychological issues as I’ve progressed through school. So has half my department, and I suspect the other half isn’t being honest with themselves about their issues. Some events just take a toll on you and life is hard to handle on your own. It’s ok, it happens, don’t feel ashamed, just get treatment posthaste. I did, because I believe in Maslow’s hierarchy – basic needs must be satisfied in order to satisfy higher-level needs and function at a higher level.

What this means in terms of Izzy, if indeed he has some psychological issues now, [I'll keep away from the term disorder because 1) I don't diagnose psych disorders, I only refer and 2) I definitely don't have complete enough information to diagnose even if I were licensed for it] which I would suspect, seriously how would you not after recent events?, gratuitous comma, is that he has more important personal things to attend to before he can think about pitching which are completely independent of physical (hip/hand) health.

I really don’t fucking care if the infected hand is merely the public reason for getting Izzy out & away from here, as long as he’s getting the treatment he needs to get better. Kind of like the same thing with Spiezio: the guy has bigger things to take care of than baseball even though what we see is the impact that the problem has upon baseball.

I only write about this because in Izzy’s words I sense desperation that I’ve never before detected and that is completely out of character for him. The guy was willing to be DFA’d and sent to the minors just to get out of the current situation. He asked out of the closer role. That’s simply not the competitive, driven Izzy we know and love (and some boo, boo on them). Something has changed in him, something is not the same.

Clearly, Izzy needs some time off. Who knows how long? I’ll not claim to know. But I have reason to believe that he will fight to return and thus I anticipate seeing him back on the mound.

temper temper

Elle — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:08:48 +0000

Oh, Yadi. Nobody can blame you for wanting to make sure your pitcher is getting the same treatment on ball and strike calls, but where has your normally cool demeanor gone? Backe tosses one at your pretty face after picking a fight with your BFF Albert, ok, I’d probably get bent out of shape over that one too. But stripping in front of the home plate ump?? Don’t get me wrong, a good part of me wanted to scream “TAKE OFF YOUR TOP” and you had already been ejected (at that point, why not get your money’s worth?), but you were one pissed-off puertoricano last night.

In Yadi’s defense, the ump did get all in his business first. To me, it looks like our Holy Moli made a comment while in the crouch position (not uncommon for Yadi or any other catcher in the league) and it’s pretty obvious that whatever was said, Paul Schrieber took exception to. Blue abruptly turned and walked directly in front of Yadi, got in his space and began “discussing” an unknown topic (I’m going to theorize that it involved Momma Molina or Yadi’s catching abilities), but I’m sure it involved repetitious use of one of Yadi’s favorite phrases, “fooken booshee”. Not too long later, Yadi gets the heave-ho and continues to “discuss” with Schrieber.

Tony comes out and at this point, I’m just waiting for him to get ejected too. Ump has a short fuse tonight and it’s not taking too much to set him off; strike one was probably coming out of the dugout, strike two was probably arguing for a player just ejected. Watching Tony on replay, he wasn’t as animated and he seemed much more calm than, say, Lou Piniella arguing another call, but Tony also didn’t back down. While this is going on, Yadi meticulously removes each piece of his catcher’s gear, nonmaliciously tossing it at the feet of Blue. I say nonmaliciously because we’re all aware of the cannon that is Yadi’s right arm; if Yadi had meant to hurt the guy, he would have been knocked over long ago. Reportedly, “You catch” is lip-readable on Yadi. Eventually, Tony gets strike three and he’s out as well. Oquendo has to escort Yadi to the dugout and take over the bench for the remainder of the evening.

Conspicuously, I didn’t catch quotes form the players, so I’m not sure what the rest of the team thought, but Wainer appreciated the sentiment.

“That was awesome,” Wainwright said. “If you’re going to get tossed, you might as well make it a good one.”

Update: Duncan didn’t entirely mind it either.

“Well, I thought it was a pretty good show,” said pitching coach Dave Duncan, a former major-league catcher. “I think Yadi at that point was pretty frustrated. And probably felt there should have been communication, not ejection.”

Also, video from the Brewers is available on mlb.com Turns out I almost got my wish; Yadi almost took off his top while Oquendo was walking him to the dugout. /Update

Here’s to hoping the Cards fire it up against the Pirates for the next few days. If you’re going to the stadium, don’t forget to remind Adam LaRoche of his batting average. If you’re feeling particularly cruel (and you know Buzz Bissinger would like for us to be) you could offer him some Strattera so maybe he can pay attention in the batter’s box and raise said average.

Also, Jim Edmonds as a Cubbie? Ugh. I’m not sure what would disgust me more: seeing him in blue pinstripes or seeing the bleacher bums who have previously unmercifully heckled him turn and embrace him. It’s bad enough that he couldn’t finish his career with us, but to finish with the division rivals? Hell, why don’t we let Houston have him for a few games too? I was all prepared to show up at the stadium and participate in the biggest standing ovation ever during his first plate appearance, but I have seriously mixed emotions about doing that if he’s going to be a Cub. However, I guess he already has his ring so it’s not like he needs to end his career playing for a World Series contender or anything.

are you thinking what i’m thinking

Elle — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:11:18 +0000

I don’t think Rick Ankiel can legally wear long-sleeved shirts in Missouri any longer except when carrying a concealed weapon permit.

Really? Are you sure you can’t pitch? Even when the bullpen needs a rest, just for kicks ‘n’ grins? What if we just pretend that home plate is third base and you’re just standing on that damn hill at Minute Maid Park? Seriously, throwing out the speediest guy in the majors as he tries to advance to third on a sac fly? And then, as if he was off having some cerveza while Willy Taveras was nailed, Omar Quintanilla thinks it would be a good idea to stretch a double into a triple. Wrong-O. I think those plays deserve a name; The Catch is already taken and the only word that comes to mind when I watch replays is “dumbasses”. Do with that what you will.

I think we can add “Run on Rick Ankiel, even if you hit it to the warning track” to the list of Things That Are Ill-Advised When Playing the St. Louis Cardinals, somewhere around “Run on Yadi, ever” and “Upset Albert prior to plate appearance”.